Sunday, February 28, 2010

Welcome to 'What a Douchebag"!

Hello everyone.

We have all had our run-ins with varying degrees of douchebags. You may be wondering what exactly defines a douchebag, but with all the different breeds out there, one definition would never do them justice.

Today's douchebag is the ever-present biker-douchebag. Not biker like Harleys and Hell's Angels. Biker like CCM or Schwinn. As Pat and I were driving back to his place after a long day of doing nothing, we found ourselves trapped behind a very slow biker who seemed immune to the snow and cold. We figured that our time together would come to an end when we reached an intersection, but were disappointed when the douchebag suddenly decided he was turning left. And he didn't even use those lame arms signals to tell us where he was going. As it turns out, when you have a 6-pack of Heineken under your arm it's difficult to not be a total asshole on the road.

Finally getting fed up with the 2-kmph speed of the douche on the bike, he saw his chance (when Mr. 10-Speed wobbled and swerved to the right) and took it, speeding past the human obstacle.

The moral here is, BIKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD SO CARS CAN PASS YOU. Also, alcohol and bicycles do not mix.